THROUGH TEARS, LAUGHTER

It was a looong 1st day as we embarked on our journey abroad at 4:35pm Atlanta time with a bit of a luggage snafu which, miraculously, only resulted in one lost bag. Unfortunately, it is the bag containing all the toys and games for the outreach with the disabled children scheduled for Wednesday. So, right out of the starting gates, we would appreciate prayers for a speedy return of this bag or a Plan B better than the first. So like God to redirect our steps to something bigger, better, greater and beyond anything we could ever have imagined. Our faith is in Him, and we know He will be glorified, no matter what.

Toss in three legs to our journey, more than one language barrier, some sleep deprivation and Leland Holder, and you've got a recipe for much laughter. To keep this "G" rated, suffice it to say, Leland seems to be a target for "wanding" through security checkpoints. For starters, we've concluded, either all airports need to invest in the private, curtained scanning booths or Mr. Holder needs to stop losing weight just in case he's asked to remove his belt and place it on the conveyor belt. We can't decide who should play him the the movie version of "Leland goes Global," either Martin Short in his Ed Grimley persona holding up his pants, or Tim Conway shuffling his feet slowly to keep his pants from falling down. His team was no support at all, snickering from the sidelines. Good fodder already and sure to get exaggerated as the week gains momentum. Kathy (me) is doing caffeine! The new tag line being, "You don't WANT her on that wall. You don't NEED her on that wall!"

There were so many laughs with the team and with our family here, just 24 hours into our trip. Adrija insisted, as usual, we are not to return home. No more of this back and forth. We'll just stay here together in Bosnia, as brothers and sisters, until we are together in Heaven. Nono, Associate Pastor, has been shuttling many visitors this week, to and from Sarajevo, and us, to and from Split. He could hardly keep his eyes open at dinner making an encrypted reference to Bugs Bunny holding his eyes open with toothpicks, then tossing his head back with that wide grin and contagious laugh which makes his eyes smile too. Some things translate despite language barriers.

By night's end, the Atlanta weather caught up with us and it was flooding in Capljina. Tony (our translator) said he'd never seen anything like it, and John Morgan, our team appointed driver, couldn't find reverse, on the stick shift, in the van. It was another adventure that only brought more laughter in our over-tired state. Fortunately, Tony bailed us out and got us home.

Still there's a heaviness offset by a sense of wonder and anticipation. A desire to know where the church and our Bosnian church family goes from here. We watch Bernard meet with benefactors and prepare for his upcoming trip to America and pray for all the success of the next chapter in the life of the Evangelical Church. We pray for funding and support and for God to use them and all gleaned from our past partnership as they go out and become a flagship model for others in the country and a beacon of light reaching out into into their city and beyond. What our roles will become going forward are unknown. Only God knows the answers to these questions behind those tears. As we come alongside our Bosnian family, we hope, as they do, to hear God's voice with indelible clarity that this is not an ending, but a beginning for all of us, a new chapter, a door opening, a new direction, the way of which will be revealed in God's perfect timing.

It is now Tuesday morning. We began with morning prayer and worship, as we will do each day. Our plans for the day are dedicated to prayer, worship and encouragement - a full day at the church, which will eventually include most of the congregation. Please pray for a large turnout tonight. We are certain there will be many tears, and through the tears, more laughter.

PRAY CONTINUALLY

They say you can tell the age of a tree, by the number of rings pressing in around its core. The more encircling it, the more seasoned the tree. This is the image that comes to my mind as I consider the current season of my life. I have reached the time when many of my friends, or their children, are now struck by grave illness. I attend more funerals, deliver more meals, and spend more time in supplication than in praise. My world seems a bit turned unfavorably on axis. A bit of a magnet for the wounded and the broken, I feel overwhelmed by the magnitude of suffering souls. More a stream of consciousness prayer warrior, I am left wondering if I have left someone off of my mental list today as I go to our merciful Father in petition. I count on His knowing the meditations of my heart on most days of late, in my feeble attempt to "pray continually."

I wonder why I make promises I cannot keep perfectly. “I will pray for you.” Unless I have a pen and paper, I have to rely on memory in those fleeting conversations. Praying right then and there. Is it just me, I ponder? Or, do we all fall prey to this spiritual blunder? What is our alternative? “I will not pray for you? I don’t have a pen! I might forget. Don’t count on me to remember.” We could run to our cars or homes and jot down another name, I suppose. I’m sure there are many solutions. Still, I don’t know if this is the crux of the problem. I have a pretty decent memory and can retain a lot of information up to a point, but eventually, I am overwhelmed by the sheer numbers of those in trough times and become frozen, unable to pray at all. I lean hard into my Savior and the Spirit within me who “knows not what we ought to pray for, but intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express.” Romans 8:26

Jesus was surrounded by crowds all the time. Those hoping for healing were continually at his feet, literally. In one particular scene, Jesus was almost crushed by a crowd, when a bleeding woman, squeezed through the rings of suffering seekers to touch his cloak. Jesus, at the epicenter of this circle of sickness and sorrow, felt the power leave him. His power was being depleted! It is then, at that moment, Jesus knew someone had touched him.

Was Jesus overwhelmed? Maybe. But, significant to me is that he felt his power leave him. That is precisely how I feel, when I am frozen in my prayer time and my list is lengthy. I feel powerless. I have come before my Savior and I have no words. I don’t even recall all the names for whom I am petitioning anymore. There are too many of them. But, in the very moment I hear another story of cancer, a child’s death or our friend, Gara, in Bosnia who is battling a debilitating disease, someone has touched me as well. I know I am called, like Jesus, to have compassion. But, my power is not like His power. My strength unlike His as well. Therein lays my crisis.

In my arrogance, I have likened myself to Jesus in the story as if my loved ones have come to me for healing. They have not. A prayer and a present may restore and replenish in part, but not in full. So many of us, as caregivers, try to become the hands and feet of Jesus. It is a valiant and noble gesture. We are called to be like Him, but we are not Him. When we are overwhelmed because our power is depleted, it is an earthly power, not a heavenly one. I am not Jesus in the story. I am the bleeding woman. I must find my power in the hem of His garment, just as she, while my loved ones encircle Him, seeking His healing.

We have conditioned ourselves to believe we must, must, must. We should. We do to our own undoing, until there is nothing left for others. We become overwhelmed, then overwrought and are no benefit to those who need us to be like Jesus to them. We, too, need to be restored and replenished, daily, through the touch of his garment.

At once Jesus realized that power had gone out from him. He turned around in the crowd and asked, “Who touched my clothes? You see the people crowding against you,” his disciples answered, “and yet you can ask, ‘Who touched me?’ ” Mk 5:30-31

In 3 days we leave for Bosnia. We are to come alongside our brothers and sisters there to pray and encourage, nothing more, because God will use this gesture of love and grace for His glory. He will provide the healing, the replenishment, the strength they require to keep going, keep reaching the unreached and unchurched, keep persevering. Our prayer request for all of our supporters to pray on our behalf is for God to "help [us] speak and teach [us] what to say" (Exodus 4:12) so that our words will nourish them and edify His people.

We welcome all of your comments, prayers and posts as we FINALLY greet the arrival of our departure day, this Sunday. Please keep checking in as we will update from Bosnia. On behalf of the team, THANK YOU, for your unwavering support of this ministry. We appreciate you more than you know. We are also happy to announce we have exceeded our fund raising goal of $16,800, raising over $23,000! We are so humbled by your generousity and God's grace and provision.

"pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:17-18

Humbly and Gratefully,
Kathy

WHAT'S IN A NUMBER?

Have you ever considered the importance of a number? I mean, “give or take” we say, as if it’s not really that important. Of course, it depends on what we’re talking about.

Birthdays, for example. I hear 40 is the “new 30,” while 50 is the “new 40.” Funny, though, I don’t see any of my friends clamoring to flip that 9 to a 0, do you? What about all of you sports fans out there? One point in a basketball game drawn from a 3 point basket may be easily overcome in a high scoring game, but if you’re pitching for the Mets, one point ahead, with two men out at the bottom of the ninth, that number matters!

We teach our children how to do math the “old way” – long division and so forth, even though we realize, in a matter of time, they will be just as dependent on a calculator as we are. Why do we do this? Because, in our world, numbers are important. Consider Social Security numbers, UPC codes, and sku numbers. Have you taken a gander at a URL lately or some HTML code. Custom color codes shown as digits, instead of “Cornflower Blue” straight from a box of 64 crayons. Do you remember when the 64 box came out? Or the 96! Wow!

This week, I had the opportunity to speak with Pastor Bernard about the impact the Evangelical Churches are having after suffering through persecution to acceptance and, now, exacting change. A remarkable movement towards forgiveness, since the Evangelical churches only represent 10% of Bosnia’s total population. It is awe inspiring to potentially be on the edge of finding a watching world stand in witness as our family of believers begin to move the needle in this broken land, out of darkness and into the light, with hearts afire for Jesus! At this, Bernard corrected me and said the number of evangelicals, or protestants, in this predominantly Muslim country, actually represents only .0002 (1,000 out of a 3.5 million)! I paused. I must have done the calculation three times on my calculator. Have I misquoted this figure for the last two years? A feeling of doubt began to sweep over me. Ten percent stood a running chance, but .0002? Maybe not! There are too few! The scars run too deep, the hatred and un-forgiveness coursing through vains more greatly outnumber those who now worship a risen Lord than before estimated.

How quickly we must unlearn the ways of our world. Almost immediately, a number of Bible stories came flooding to my mind. In Genesis, Chapter 18: Abraham posing question after question to God – What if 50 righteous people remain? What about 10? The number didn’t matter to God. All would be spared. In Matthew Chapter 15: How will we feed the 4,000? (Forget that Jesus had just blessed 5 loaves and two fishes in Chapter 14 to feed 5,000!) The number was not a stumbling block for God. 2 Chronicles Chapter 20: Jehoshaphat’s victory over combined armies, numerically an egregious advantage to the other side - a seemingly no win situation, yet he reigned victorious as the Lord promised.

For the split second of my waffling, I was like the disciples who forgot about Chapter 14. I forgot the Lord’s words to Jehoshaphat, “the battle is not yours, but God’s.” 2 Chronicles 20:15b

And, this is what it is in Bosnia, a battle for souls. Souls in need of forgiveness. A forgiveness to be experienced by each other and in the arms of a Savior just waiting to meet them. God doesn’t care about the numbers. No number is too big to save, and no number is too small to use as a conduit for the One relationship which will lead to salvation - for all people, regardless of religion, ethnicity, what they have done in the past. Jesus is available to all of them, and it is happening through the .0002 of evangelicals, give or take, witnessing the love of Jesus in cities like Capljina, Bosnia!

Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible." Matthew 19:26

By His Grace,
Kathy

NO FEAR

What would it look like to live life without fear? I've often asked myself this question. Every once in a while, I encounter someone who seems to have it figured out. My last trip to Bosnia was just such an occasion.

I first met her during an outreach for new Christian women and seekers in Capljina. It was a jewelry making event. I knew little about creating these artful trinkets. Neither of us could understand a word each other spoke, yet somehow we managed to communicate with a woman’s tendency to speak with flailing arm gestures. Immediately, I could tell she was a woman who knew what she wanted. She cared little whether her necklace of various sizes and shapes had perfect symmetry, only that the black shimmering colors matched; or whether there was slack in her bracelet, as long as everything was included as she created it. There was a contentedness about her. She gave up on perfection long ago. It was not important to her. She had found something more important. Tonight was about joy. Her expectations were clear.

Had I spoken the language, I am certain I would have had a few questions for her, but the evening was fast paced, and there was not much time to unpack this peace she emanated. She left an impression on me.

Later in the week, my group would make a trip to a village for visitations to those in need of prayer. Our last stop was to the business of a fairly new Christian woman under extreme persecution for her new found Christian faith. To my surprise, it was my jewelry partner. She greeted me with a big hug and kiss for both cheeks, as is customary in this country. Inside her shop, we would hear her story, which would illuminate all of the unanswered questions raised the night of our women’s outreach.

She came to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ much to the opposition of her entire family. This is not uncommon in this region. Her family is opposed to her decision. A parent has threatened her with imprisonment and even death. When asked what we could pray for on her behalf, she asked if we could pray for the safety of her business and for the salvation of her family. Afterward, she openly solicited questions. Many were asked. But, I was having a difficult time wrapping my mind around a loved one who wanted her in prison or, worse yet, dead! This was unimaginable to me. Still, there was something about her. It was beyond forgiveness, beyond grace, something more. It was the same contentedness I saw the night of the outreach, this peace. What was that? How did she get it? So, I asked her, “Do you ever feel in danger or threatened? Are you afraid for your life?” To this she replied (thru a translator), with this same peace and utter confidence, “No, not at all. I would go through all of this again, if the alternative meant not having Jesus in my life.” I realized, then, I was standing before someone who truly trusted the Lord and loved Him with a perfect love.

John tells us about this truth, about the incompatibility of love and fear, “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, (1 John 4:18b). I think I finally understood how short I fall in the fear-based life I lead. My fear of the unknown, my anxieties and my worries, the “what ifs”, the “things are going too well,” it must be my turn next! Have you ever had these thoughts? This woman has known worse things and still loves and praises Jesus for what He is going to do next. I have seen Jesus do great things in my life, and still fear the table is going to turn as I watch the tragedies which surround me. Her reality is the trinket is perfect in its imperfection. She sees herself, her circumstances and others as God sees, which affords her perfect love, perfect peace, unfathomable faith and no fear.

We could all heed a lesson from my new friend’s pearls of wisdom. Whether strung together or gazed upon in isolation, her message hangs together, timeless and relevant, and is as brilliant as the black beads she hand selected of every shape and size to create her masterpiece, just as God created her.

"Fear never wrote a symphony or a poem, negotiated a peace treaty or cured a disease. Fear never pulled a family out of poverty or a country out of bigotry. Fear never saved a marriage or a business. Courage did that. Faith did that." (a)

(a) Lucado, Max, "Fearless", Nashville, TN, Thomas Nelson, Inc., 2009


Peace,
Kathy

DISPOSABLE INCOME

Driving around Atlanta thinking of ways I could support our Bosnian friends, now family, I came to the conclusion it would have to be by other means. We don’t have much “disposable income,” I rationalized. If only God could use me in some other way. If my writing could be used to glorify Him, while at the same time cast a beacon of light on the plight of our brothers and sisters in need of so much, yet with great faith petition for very little. Still, the words, “disposable income” disturbed me. They hung in my head on a noose and caught in my throat, choking me as I spoke them aloud. The face of a Bosnian child begging for throw away coins haunted me. I asked myself, "Who coined such a phrase?" An oxymoron at a minimum, a slap in the face of our current economy if nothing else. It was then I realized, again I had fallen into the snare of our culture. No longer thinking of first fruits, I was considering leftovers. How quickly I fall. Only a few months ago, our pastor gave a sermon series on financial balance. How we tend to spend, repay debt and taxes before saving and charitable giving, when in reality the list would be far more generous and far more tax favorable if we followed this regimen in reverse. I rationalize with some kind of loopy logic that we are “robbing Peter to pay Paul” as it is. Then, something happens to me when I arrive in Bosnia. Things of this world fall away and, all of a sudden, I am rich! Rich in treasures not measured by man, but abundantly blessed with grace and love, hope and friendship, a connection which transcends understanding. A part of my heart is there. "For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." (Matthew 6:21) Suddenly, I have enough.

My thoughts gradually have meandered over a week’s time to the support letters we have prayerfully written and sent asking for both prayer and financial support of our trip. I think many of us on past and present trips bristle at the fund raising aspect of missions. I came to a conclusion this week. I believe it is because of our list. I believe it is because we have fallen into our worldly thinking again, and our lists are turned on end, leftovers instead of first fruits. We’ve failed to give our loved ones an opportunity to weigh in on the health of their own lists. I have to remind myself, my team and our readership, if God has called us on this trip, He will show us - He will show you - how to support it. We will go, you may send, or you may pray. But, it is not a worldly decision. It is an eternal one. No level of support, no type of support, is more or less important.

In fact, earlier this year, I participated in a walk for Breast Cancer in memory of my mother. I sent a fundraising letter to someone special who I knew would never be able to support me financially. She did not have any “disposable income.” Still, I wanted this person to know what I was doing. The fundraising did not go well at first, until finally a response. It was from the person I least expected a reply. The support was not financial; it was a blessing and a praise. In the end, this became my greatest supporter, a gift from God.

On behalf of the October Prayer Team, I want to say to all of our blog readers, prayer warriors, and “senders” offering donations, you have blessed us. Titus walked the land we trek in Bosnia, at that time Dalmatia. And, as Paul said to the Corinthians, speaking of sowing generously, after Titus' trip to Macedonia

"This service that you perform is not only supplying the needs of God's people but is also overflowing in many expressions of thanks to God." "And in their prayers for you their hearts will go out to you, because of the surpassing grace God has given you." 2 Cor 9:12,14

In His service,
Kathy

THE GREATEST LOVE OF ALL

Travel back with me to the time of the great Martin Luther King, Jr., when his dream lay only but a dream inside a brilliant mind. How far we have come as a nation from such time of segregation and persecution of basic civil rights. Recall the marches and the children, the future, now many our leaders. What if we never moved the needle off of where we had been? What if today our children were still segregated to such extremes, where there was no opportunity for intercultural growth? On the contrary, the only alternative facing the youth was to widen the chasm created by generations of hatred and un-forgiveness. It is unfathomable to believe this is the reality in many a nation today. This is the reality of Bosnia-Herzegovina. According to a recent article by msnbc.com, “Bosnia’s ethnic divisions are evident in schools.”, Bosnia stands as “one of the worst examples of segregation in Europe.” I have witnessed it on past trips and written about the struggles just last year -- threats of pulling the Muslim students out of the primary school there to send them to another building, formally used for detention and torture of Muslims during the war. Each visit brings new issues to light, more unimaginable than the next. As uncomfortable as it is to read the msnbc article from August 23, 2009 (see sidebar for a link to it), I cannot help but feel a sense of relief to see global attention given to this issue. Three ethnicities of children being taught in shifts, from differing textbooks that their nation’s capital is not the same. Religious slurs taught as truisms securing the hatred and persecution passed down from generation to generation.

All of this can be seen in Capljina, Bosnia. Our church family there has brought to light a new issue regarding the teachers. Their pay has been cut in half due to the recession. So little keeps this economy going as it is. The unemployment hovers at around 50%. The speculation is there may be a strike. The last strike lasted 2 months and school starts today. I suppose the only thing worse than segregated school days are no school days at all.


All this in the span of about two weeks! We also began discussing what we might be doing on our visit there – potentially working with disabled children and visiting the refugee camps. Yes! They still exist. Since ruminating over the statistics, the articles, the memories and prayer requests for the children of late and pondering all God has in store for us as we prepare our hearts, bodies, minds and souls for our mission, I cannot help but think of a verse from Whitney Houston’s famous song, “The Greatest Love of All”

“I believe the children are our future.
Teach them well, and let them lead the way.
Show them all the beauty they possess inside.”


Why can’t that happen in this country, Bosnia, which we have grown so passionate about, whose people we have come to love and admire for their resiliency and perseverance? I believe the lyrics later reference the greatest love is inside of us. Indeed! But, it is not a self love. At least, not alone. It is the love of a Savior!

Therein is where the answer lies. This is what the Evangelical Church of Capljina is trying to do: to create a unique environment where others might grow in a personal relationship with our Lord, Jesus, to reach the unreached, to unite a community, to break down the walls which divide them, to start with one city, one corner of their world that might shine like a city on a hill. How will they accomplish all this? A tall order! They will do this with love, "The Greatest Love of All," the unconditional love of an all powerful, merciful, faithful and sovereign God who gave his only son for all mankind. "Christ in [us}, the hope of glory" Col 1:27b.

“You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven." Matthew 5:14-16

Please pray for the school systems in Bosnia, particularly in Capljina. Pray for the teachers and for the children. Thank you for your support.

Still in One Peace
Kathy

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ECC!

I am a big believer in marking milestones, celebrating victories, placing a pin in turning points -- good or bad. Without these signposts, I cannot reflect as effectively on where I have been, nor praise the One who delivered me, redeemed me, rejoiced with me, carried me, empowered me, cried with me and equipped me.

We did not make a fuss about birthdays when I was young. Consequently, I am an avid proponent of them now. As soon as my birthday is over, I am already looking forward to the next. "Mark them!" I say. "Which one was your favorite?" I'll ask. "Tell me about it." It tickles me to hear my husband's response to this question when others inquire. "So, Mike, which birthday was your best?" Without hesitation, he responds with the enthusiasm of a child, "10! Double digits were HUGE!" He is my joy mentor. There continues to be a 10 year old trapped in his 40-something body, ever ready for reason to celebrate.

This morning, I discovered one . . . a reason to celebrate. The Evangelical Church in Capljina, Bosnia just turned 10 years old! I watched online as they began collecting pictures, signposts, of their victories and milestones to mark their journey, an arduous, but fruitful road to redemption and celebration.

On many levels, it is hard to believe a decade has passed. On the one hand, this seems like a young church. On the other, once only a small gathering in our hosts' home then a tiny mustard seed planted on the banks of the Neretva River from which a mighty oak has grown, providing the necessary refuge and shade, comfort and nourishment for the seekers who have come. In that way, the church and her congregation seems greater and wiser, beyond her years. This is a place that has been tested and challenged, ridiculed, defaced, stoned. In stark contrast today, a decade later, this house of worship is accepted by the community. Walls which divided a people socially, ethnically, politically and religiously have crumbled by the power of the people who have congregated inside them and left their burdens at the foot of the cross,giving their lives to Christ. Enemies have found forgiveness and grace. The broken and wounded have found healing. Just 2 years ago, the town square map did not acknowledge the existence of The Evangelical Church yet, now, it's presence is graced by a marker - the Cross. It is a place where one may find a path leading to a Savior to free them from the chains that continue to bind a country, a region, from decades of oppression.


If you ever are in Capljina, look for the markings on the map and the mighty tower of the ECC standing steadfast, resolute and tall despite 10 years of rough road to reach this glorious day of celebration. Until then, join us as we mark it, together, in grateful praise to our merciful, faithful and soveriegn God who receives all the glory for all He has done and will continue to do through this church, its leadership in Pastor Bernard, and his congregation. Praise be to God!


Happy Birthday, ECC! We love you,
The NPCC Teams

"Rejoice with those who rejoice" Romans 12:15a