TRANSFORMATION

I have a favorite quote from one of my dear friends. I latched onto it, as I do many of her spoken insights as she thinks aloud. We were talking of transformation, when she thoughtfully said, "I think we all want transformation, it's change we don't like!" We all reveled in the truth of her statement. Transformation, true body, mind, spirit overhauling would be fantastic if not for the hardwork involved with the changes required to achieve it. The more work to do the longer it may take, the greater the dedication, commitment and obedience. Oh, the surrender. Are we ever done tweaking and growing, learning and adjusting. Even when we are "grown," we find ourselves still in need of a Savior, every day, in every way.

If I had to sum up our trip to Capljina this month in one word, I would call it "Transformation!" Not that the city has arrived at its ultimate destination of growth, mended fences and hearts, minds and spirits turning towards Christ in vast volumes. No, not yet. However, when considering where the Evangelical Church was 10 years ago and where it is now - Where it was just a year and a half ago, 6 months ago, compared to what I saw two weeks ago, there is a transformation beginning. Something amazing is happening, and I can only attribute it to the profound presence of our mighty and sovereign God in this city. A city that Pastor Bernard, and Mara and Stana before him, vowed not to give up on. A city that the church, the missionaries at Novi Most and both their benefactors, including NPCC and you, our supporters, opted to pour into out of your love for Christ Jesus. In this city, the needle is moving toward positive change, towards loving others, towards rebuilding and taking pride in their city - rightfully showing gratitude for even what little they have.

Last year, the people walking the streets strolled aimlessly with little lift in their step. There was no place to go, the jobs virtually non-existent, all factories still bombed out from the war over a decade ago. Hardly recognizeable, two weeks ago, there was traffic! People and cars, a hum of activity, government jobs kept trucks moving dirt and vegetation cleaning up the banks of the Neretva River, 24/7, causing a traffic jam. Those on foot were many! They greeted us as we walked by. There were smiles, a warmth, an acceptance. We struck up conversation with perfect strangers, unprecedented. We felt not even a little uneasy about inviting them to church, and gracious acceptances were returned. Seeds planted. A small city which uses the "honor system" at 4 way stops is now installing roundabouts to control the increasing flow of traffic. Personally, I have prayed after each trip that the youth might have a movie theater to go to, some fun entertainment place more appealing than the bombed out tobacco factory, a snare for alcohol and drug abusers. To my delight, as we prayer walked the city, we passed the war memorial and came across the new cinema!! Still a work in progress, but there nonetheless, a towering presence of tides changing. And, on the graffiti clad walls of the tobacco factory? There are now postive expressions of love and pride in their city. Perhaps on our next trip, the factory will be in a state of rebuilding as industry, other than the government run variety, moves back to our sister city.

The most stark change was the disappearance of the bombed out building next to the Evangelical Church. The juxtaposition of the former fall of a nation next to the rise of the Evangelical Church captured what was once a dream, a prayer to our Lord and Savior. Now, to see the prayer being answered speaks to the sovereignty of our God. Indeed, through Him, nothing is impossible. He is our strength, our fortress. He alone can tear the old walls down and make them anew. It IS hardwork, but it is a supernatural work, the work of a merciful Father who is defeating the Enemy and freeing a city, and perhaps a country, from the clutches of evil. There are still a lot of cobwebs on the crooked cross, but not for long. The Lord is near. Renewal, Restoration and Resurrection are sure to follow! Hallelujah!

"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will." Romans 12:2

Humbly yours,
Kathy

"GIVE US TODAY OUR DAILY BREAD" MATTHEW 6:11

Last Friday, we had the amazing privilege to be in Capljina during the "Dan Kruha" or "Day of Bread." I've learned many countries celebrate this feast of bread and baking (see button in the side bar), often in coordination on October 16 and have for years. I'm not certain of the origin, but feel free to post if you can shed light on it. For us, it was a welcome first stop on our prayer walk. Most of the primary school children brought breads and pastries to the town square and sold their goods to benefit the disabled children we worked with on Wednesday evening.

It was incredibly festive as several of the schools represented donned themselves in native costume adding to the flavor of the festivities. Of course, we could not get rid of our kuna (the local currency) fast enough for either the delicous treats, the delightful smiles it brought to the children's faces or in knowing our new friends would be the benefactors. Sadly, there was a presence missing, however. As I read more about this day of celebration, from Israel to Germany and Argentina to Australia, in Capljina, the Muslim children were not allowed to participate. For as much progress as we experienced this trip, there is still so much work to be done on the heart. Our prayer walk continued . . .

We made our usual trek around the city. It is always a wonderful reminder of God's timing and presence. Invariably, He has answered at least one prayer, while other buildings prayed over for years remain in ruins. Our next stop, a former tobacco factory, is riddled with graffiti and continues to rob the teens of Capljina of their youth. It has become a haven for drugs and alcoholism, but this time, amidst the same names prayed over trip after trip, we found praise for the new mayor and expressions of love, while adolescents played soccer in the light of day between the hollowed out shells of what was once a thriving icon of economic prosperity. Tides changing?


Further down the road, we come to the Serbian Orthodox church, bombed out for almost 15 years - a reminder of war and destruction. Today, it is rebuilt, readying itself for opening day, while Pastor Bernard prepares to endear himself to the new priest as he has to the Imam and the Franciscan Priest. The Serbian people will have a place to worship. Another fence will come down, when the scaffolding is removed. Hallelujah!

We ended our day with the jewelry making outreach. This time our mission was different. We planned only to invite the unchurched, the unreached. Our hopes were high for a large turnout, but only one woman, Hermina, came. She was the mother of one of the disabled men from the center Wednesday night. BJ, Nancy and John loved on this family as if they were the only ones in the room, lavishing them with attention and the love of Christ.

Although a showing of one was at first disappointing, Hermina promised to return to the church. A lesson in God's timing, the strength of one, the power of love? Perhaps. I see it as Oswald Chambers stated in "My Utmost for His Highest," . . .

"One life totally devoted to God is of more value to Him than one hundred lives which have been simply awakened by His Spirit."

Friday was a powerful day full of lessons from God above. So much is happening in the city of Capljina, but so much is left to do. Jesus teaches us to pray "Give us today our Daily Bread" Matthew 6:11. This was never so real to me than last Friday, the "Dan Kruha". We petition for our future, but Christ gives us enough for today. One life leaning toward him, enough food to eat, another fence to tear down and the strength to do it, and one more group of people whose absence is felt and acknowledged, an emptiness, work still needed to be done. Give us our daily bread and the courage to act with the Divine strength it gives us, for today.

Be a Blessing,
Kathy

FITTING IN

The last three days have been a bit "puzzling." I wonder about a world, a broken world, with so many problems, so much pain, suffering, war and hatred. We travel miles, across the seas, because we feel called to a country torn by all these things, not the least of which is unforgiveness, and I rack my brain for reasons why we can't find a place on this big blue ball where we'll all fit in. Like a big jigsaw puzzle, we seem to be looking for the perfect piece with the right ins and outs save for one corner that slants sharply instead of gracefully curving. We try to force it, but it simply doesn't fit.

Wednesday night, we held our outreach for the disabled children of Capljina. We brought developmental toys, puzzles among them. I engaged a young girl, tentative to participate during round one, but decided to trust me during round two. Our fun lasted only a few minutes, as I taught her how to find the corners. When I relinquished the tasks to her, she began to cry in frustration. She couldn't find the missing piece which fit. Perhaps the puzzle mirrored her own feelings of the plight of the disabled children of Capljina - no school of their own, needing to be shuttled to Mostar for their education, in search of a place to fit in. As she walked away from the table, my heart broke. If only she knew how her actions captured such a profound reality about the human condition. How we all feel our inadequacies and place far too much of our identity in whether or not we accomplish tasks others call upon us to perform, instead of loving God and loving others as Christ has called us to do. She fits in more than she knows, as much as anyone.


Yesterday, we took a trip to the city of Dubrovnik, Croatia. What an incredible blessing to walk the walls of the fortressed city gazing out upon the Adriatic Sea to one side and hundreds of barrel tiled roof tops of various hues - yellow, oranges and reds - to the other side. The old city seemed to fit together as it's own puzzle, harmoniously from above. Yet, take the stairs down below and you can easily become lost in the chaos of only slightly differing tonal qualities. Like the most complicated jigsaw, you believe you have picked up the exact shade, and are headed in the right direction, but again, you are lost, not knowing where you fit in without the vantage point only seen from above.

Tonight, we gather at church with non-believing women from the community for a jewelry outreach. We will spend some of the day organizing baubles and beads and practicing making clasps for necklaces. Very few of us really know how to do this ourselves, so we are praying for some Divine Intervention! My clasps may not fit properly. I might get frustrated like my puzzle partner Wednesday night. I wish she could be here to see me - imperfect, not fitting in, flawed. There is one thing about a mission trip. It humbles you and teaches you, we are all the same, all over the world. None of us fit in perfectly.

My puzzle partner ran up to me at the end of our evening at the center and threw her arms around me saying, enthusiastically, "I like you!" in Croatian. My heart skipped a beat! She got the point after all. Life is not about fitting in perfectly. It is about spending time with each other, bearing one another's burdens and liking each other. Somehow, at the end of the day, it smooths out the sharp edges and smooths out the corners, until we all fit in well enough.

"Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble." 1 Peter 3:8

Still in One Peace,
Kathy

LOVE

Last night, about 30 of us gathered at the Evangelical Church for a time of worship and praise, followed by prayer and a sharing of testimonies. Those with specific prayer needs, Pastor Bernard anointed with oil. A powerful presence felt by all left us emotionally drained, but spiritually awakened and, for many, restored to a sense of wholeness.

Although unable to join in Croatian song, the team managed to immerse in the essence of the Spirit which enveloped the room. Some things transcend language. While snow fell from Sarajevo to the mountains surrounding the city of Capljina, sending the brisk Bura (north winds) rushing through the streets, around every corner, seemingly without means for escape, inside the sanctuary, hearts were melting - afire for Jesus. Amidst the candlelit room of raised hands, not even the unprecedented early arrival of the Bura could penetrate these hearts and douse the fire raging within.

The passion, transparency and authenticity of the Bosnian people ignited the night. Many commented about how amazing it is to come together from across the oceans to worship the same God. For this, we gave thanks. Such a simple blessing. Such a small thing. It serves as a reminder of the truism in Mother Teresa's words. . . "We can do no great things; only small things with great love"

"I give you a new command: Love each other. You must love each other as I have loved you." John 13:34

in His Love,
Kathy

THROUGH TEARS, LAUGHTER

It was a looong 1st day as we embarked on our journey abroad at 4:35pm Atlanta time with a bit of a luggage snafu which, miraculously, only resulted in one lost bag. Unfortunately, it is the bag containing all the toys and games for the outreach with the disabled children scheduled for Wednesday. So, right out of the starting gates, we would appreciate prayers for a speedy return of this bag or a Plan B better than the first. So like God to redirect our steps to something bigger, better, greater and beyond anything we could ever have imagined. Our faith is in Him, and we know He will be glorified, no matter what.

Toss in three legs to our journey, more than one language barrier, some sleep deprivation and Leland Holder, and you've got a recipe for much laughter. To keep this "G" rated, suffice it to say, Leland seems to be a target for "wanding" through security checkpoints. For starters, we've concluded, either all airports need to invest in the private, curtained scanning booths or Mr. Holder needs to stop losing weight just in case he's asked to remove his belt and place it on the conveyor belt. We can't decide who should play him the the movie version of "Leland goes Global," either Martin Short in his Ed Grimley persona holding up his pants, or Tim Conway shuffling his feet slowly to keep his pants from falling down. His team was no support at all, snickering from the sidelines. Good fodder already and sure to get exaggerated as the week gains momentum. Kathy (me) is doing caffeine! The new tag line being, "You don't WANT her on that wall. You don't NEED her on that wall!"

There were so many laughs with the team and with our family here, just 24 hours into our trip. Adrija insisted, as usual, we are not to return home. No more of this back and forth. We'll just stay here together in Bosnia, as brothers and sisters, until we are together in Heaven. Nono, Associate Pastor, has been shuttling many visitors this week, to and from Sarajevo, and us, to and from Split. He could hardly keep his eyes open at dinner making an encrypted reference to Bugs Bunny holding his eyes open with toothpicks, then tossing his head back with that wide grin and contagious laugh which makes his eyes smile too. Some things translate despite language barriers.

By night's end, the Atlanta weather caught up with us and it was flooding in Capljina. Tony (our translator) said he'd never seen anything like it, and John Morgan, our team appointed driver, couldn't find reverse, on the stick shift, in the van. It was another adventure that only brought more laughter in our over-tired state. Fortunately, Tony bailed us out and got us home.

Still there's a heaviness offset by a sense of wonder and anticipation. A desire to know where the church and our Bosnian church family goes from here. We watch Bernard meet with benefactors and prepare for his upcoming trip to America and pray for all the success of the next chapter in the life of the Evangelical Church. We pray for funding and support and for God to use them and all gleaned from our past partnership as they go out and become a flagship model for others in the country and a beacon of light reaching out into into their city and beyond. What our roles will become going forward are unknown. Only God knows the answers to these questions behind those tears. As we come alongside our Bosnian family, we hope, as they do, to hear God's voice with indelible clarity that this is not an ending, but a beginning for all of us, a new chapter, a door opening, a new direction, the way of which will be revealed in God's perfect timing.

It is now Tuesday morning. We began with morning prayer and worship, as we will do each day. Our plans for the day are dedicated to prayer, worship and encouragement - a full day at the church, which will eventually include most of the congregation. Please pray for a large turnout tonight. We are certain there will be many tears, and through the tears, more laughter.

PRAY CONTINUALLY

They say you can tell the age of a tree, by the number of rings pressing in around its core. The more encircling it, the more seasoned the tree. This is the image that comes to my mind as I consider the current season of my life. I have reached the time when many of my friends, or their children, are now struck by grave illness. I attend more funerals, deliver more meals, and spend more time in supplication than in praise. My world seems a bit turned unfavorably on axis. A bit of a magnet for the wounded and the broken, I feel overwhelmed by the magnitude of suffering souls. More a stream of consciousness prayer warrior, I am left wondering if I have left someone off of my mental list today as I go to our merciful Father in petition. I count on His knowing the meditations of my heart on most days of late, in my feeble attempt to "pray continually."

I wonder why I make promises I cannot keep perfectly. “I will pray for you.” Unless I have a pen and paper, I have to rely on memory in those fleeting conversations. Praying right then and there. Is it just me, I ponder? Or, do we all fall prey to this spiritual blunder? What is our alternative? “I will not pray for you? I don’t have a pen! I might forget. Don’t count on me to remember.” We could run to our cars or homes and jot down another name, I suppose. I’m sure there are many solutions. Still, I don’t know if this is the crux of the problem. I have a pretty decent memory and can retain a lot of information up to a point, but eventually, I am overwhelmed by the sheer numbers of those in trough times and become frozen, unable to pray at all. I lean hard into my Savior and the Spirit within me who “knows not what we ought to pray for, but intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express.” Romans 8:26

Jesus was surrounded by crowds all the time. Those hoping for healing were continually at his feet, literally. In one particular scene, Jesus was almost crushed by a crowd, when a bleeding woman, squeezed through the rings of suffering seekers to touch his cloak. Jesus, at the epicenter of this circle of sickness and sorrow, felt the power leave him. His power was being depleted! It is then, at that moment, Jesus knew someone had touched him.

Was Jesus overwhelmed? Maybe. But, significant to me is that he felt his power leave him. That is precisely how I feel, when I am frozen in my prayer time and my list is lengthy. I feel powerless. I have come before my Savior and I have no words. I don’t even recall all the names for whom I am petitioning anymore. There are too many of them. But, in the very moment I hear another story of cancer, a child’s death or our friend, Gara, in Bosnia who is battling a debilitating disease, someone has touched me as well. I know I am called, like Jesus, to have compassion. But, my power is not like His power. My strength unlike His as well. Therein lays my crisis.

In my arrogance, I have likened myself to Jesus in the story as if my loved ones have come to me for healing. They have not. A prayer and a present may restore and replenish in part, but not in full. So many of us, as caregivers, try to become the hands and feet of Jesus. It is a valiant and noble gesture. We are called to be like Him, but we are not Him. When we are overwhelmed because our power is depleted, it is an earthly power, not a heavenly one. I am not Jesus in the story. I am the bleeding woman. I must find my power in the hem of His garment, just as she, while my loved ones encircle Him, seeking His healing.

We have conditioned ourselves to believe we must, must, must. We should. We do to our own undoing, until there is nothing left for others. We become overwhelmed, then overwrought and are no benefit to those who need us to be like Jesus to them. We, too, need to be restored and replenished, daily, through the touch of his garment.

At once Jesus realized that power had gone out from him. He turned around in the crowd and asked, “Who touched my clothes? You see the people crowding against you,” his disciples answered, “and yet you can ask, ‘Who touched me?’ ” Mk 5:30-31

In 3 days we leave for Bosnia. We are to come alongside our brothers and sisters there to pray and encourage, nothing more, because God will use this gesture of love and grace for His glory. He will provide the healing, the replenishment, the strength they require to keep going, keep reaching the unreached and unchurched, keep persevering. Our prayer request for all of our supporters to pray on our behalf is for God to "help [us] speak and teach [us] what to say" (Exodus 4:12) so that our words will nourish them and edify His people.

We welcome all of your comments, prayers and posts as we FINALLY greet the arrival of our departure day, this Sunday. Please keep checking in as we will update from Bosnia. On behalf of the team, THANK YOU, for your unwavering support of this ministry. We appreciate you more than you know. We are also happy to announce we have exceeded our fund raising goal of $16,800, raising over $23,000! We are so humbled by your generousity and God's grace and provision.

"pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:17-18

Humbly and Gratefully,
Kathy

WHAT'S IN A NUMBER?

Have you ever considered the importance of a number? I mean, “give or take” we say, as if it’s not really that important. Of course, it depends on what we’re talking about.

Birthdays, for example. I hear 40 is the “new 30,” while 50 is the “new 40.” Funny, though, I don’t see any of my friends clamoring to flip that 9 to a 0, do you? What about all of you sports fans out there? One point in a basketball game drawn from a 3 point basket may be easily overcome in a high scoring game, but if you’re pitching for the Mets, one point ahead, with two men out at the bottom of the ninth, that number matters!

We teach our children how to do math the “old way” – long division and so forth, even though we realize, in a matter of time, they will be just as dependent on a calculator as we are. Why do we do this? Because, in our world, numbers are important. Consider Social Security numbers, UPC codes, and sku numbers. Have you taken a gander at a URL lately or some HTML code. Custom color codes shown as digits, instead of “Cornflower Blue” straight from a box of 64 crayons. Do you remember when the 64 box came out? Or the 96! Wow!

This week, I had the opportunity to speak with Pastor Bernard about the impact the Evangelical Churches are having after suffering through persecution to acceptance and, now, exacting change. A remarkable movement towards forgiveness, since the Evangelical churches only represent 10% of Bosnia’s total population. It is awe inspiring to potentially be on the edge of finding a watching world stand in witness as our family of believers begin to move the needle in this broken land, out of darkness and into the light, with hearts afire for Jesus! At this, Bernard corrected me and said the number of evangelicals, or protestants, in this predominantly Muslim country, actually represents only .0002 (1,000 out of a 3.5 million)! I paused. I must have done the calculation three times on my calculator. Have I misquoted this figure for the last two years? A feeling of doubt began to sweep over me. Ten percent stood a running chance, but .0002? Maybe not! There are too few! The scars run too deep, the hatred and un-forgiveness coursing through vains more greatly outnumber those who now worship a risen Lord than before estimated.

How quickly we must unlearn the ways of our world. Almost immediately, a number of Bible stories came flooding to my mind. In Genesis, Chapter 18: Abraham posing question after question to God – What if 50 righteous people remain? What about 10? The number didn’t matter to God. All would be spared. In Matthew Chapter 15: How will we feed the 4,000? (Forget that Jesus had just blessed 5 loaves and two fishes in Chapter 14 to feed 5,000!) The number was not a stumbling block for God. 2 Chronicles Chapter 20: Jehoshaphat’s victory over combined armies, numerically an egregious advantage to the other side - a seemingly no win situation, yet he reigned victorious as the Lord promised.

For the split second of my waffling, I was like the disciples who forgot about Chapter 14. I forgot the Lord’s words to Jehoshaphat, “the battle is not yours, but God’s.” 2 Chronicles 20:15b

And, this is what it is in Bosnia, a battle for souls. Souls in need of forgiveness. A forgiveness to be experienced by each other and in the arms of a Savior just waiting to meet them. God doesn’t care about the numbers. No number is too big to save, and no number is too small to use as a conduit for the One relationship which will lead to salvation - for all people, regardless of religion, ethnicity, what they have done in the past. Jesus is available to all of them, and it is happening through the .0002 of evangelicals, give or take, witnessing the love of Jesus in cities like Capljina, Bosnia!

Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible." Matthew 19:26

By His Grace,
Kathy