UNLOVABLE

First an apology for technical difficulties both at home and on my blog.  I'm working to get all of my photos back online.  It has been a while since my last post.  I usually do not allow a month to go by and I have missed two! I'm back on track.

My mind has been in many places, but lately I'm stuck on a spiritual quandary.  With the Bible having so much to say about loving one another, why is it we, not only Christians, but humanity in general has such difficulty loving?  I think it is safe to say the one thing most people want in this world is to be loved.  Maybe, this is followed by a desire to be heard and valued.  But, loved must be number one.  Granted this is not a result of a straw poll or anything, just a half century of life experience informing me.

As Christians, at least we know, when we feel most unlovable ourselves, we have a Savior who loves us unconditionally and who will never forsake us.  Imagine the pain and isolation, the desperation, of those who do not know our Jesus in these trough times.

I have been observing behavior lately. the head turn at the pan handler (whom I was later told buys a steak dinner every night with the money I just gave him), the awkward pass by the blind man or down syndrome child - outcast in her culture, the snickers, the stares, the whispers at the expense of the transexual, beautiful, homeless, lost. The angry outbursts in retaliation for someone who mistreated another. But, Jesus was quite clear.  We were all made in God's image, yet we are all different, and no one escapes the love of our Lord Jesus. We are called to love, even those who may be challenging to love.

In Bosnia, among the first to be ostracized at wartime were those who married outside their ethnicity.  During a war of "ethnic cleansing," this made a division of loyalty impossible. Those who did so wound up in the Christian churches where all were accepted, friend and foe.  All were loved,  though the rest of the country persecuted them and still does, in some cases.  Jesus said,

"You're familiar with the old written law, 'Love your friend,' and its unwritten companion, 'Hate your enemy.' I'm challenging that. I'm telling you to love your enemies. Let them bring out the best in you, not the worst. When someone gives you a hard time, respond with the energies of prayer, for then you are working out of your true selves, your God-created selves. This is what God does. He gives his best—the sun to warm and the rain to nourish—to everyone, regardless: the good and bad, the nice and nasty. If all you do is love the lovable, do you expect a bonus? Anybody can do that. If you simply say hello to those who greet you, do you expect a medal? Any run-of-the-mill sinner does that. 

Matthew 43-47, The Message

I heard a statistic once.  Something like 90% of the world population believe in a higher power.  90%!  That includes those who claim to be atheist.  So, when it comes down to the terminal medical diagnosis or the mayday call on the airplane, even the resistance joins the ranks of those with "foxhole" religion.  "Okay, if there really is someone up there, I could use a miracle right now!" It's a start.  What I'm getting to is this.

One of the teachers of the law came and heard them debating. Noticing that Jesus had given them a good answer, he asked him, “Of all the commandments, which is the most important?”

 “The most important one,” answered Jesus, “is this: ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’^[c] There is no commandment greater than these.” 

Mark 12:28-31 

So, if 90% have the 1st commandment down, so to speak, where did everything fall apart on the second one?  Let's not even go into the wars!  We'll be here all day.  What about our families.  Bullying in school. Simple acceptance of those unlike ourselves.  Prisoners. People who've made colossal mistakes and want a second chance.  The God of  second chances would give them one.  Why won't we?  We all have a story.  We are more than the sum of our behaviors.  We were made in God's image, called to love those who are "seemingly" unlovable.  Its a trick, a trap.  There are no such people.  We can choose to forgive, love from afar.  We can love a complete stranger outcast by their culture. We can emanate the love of Christ in a myriad of ways, if we ask God to show us how.  It is the second commandment in a world gone crazy with hate. Of course there is an implied message in all of this. "Love your neighbor as yourself" meaning, it is assumed you love yourself.  Is that where you need to begin?  Is that where we must all begin?

Love,
Kathy

John 13:34
“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.

Romans 12:10
Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.

1 John 4:12
No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.

1 John 3:11
[ More on Love and Hatred ] For this is the message you heard from the beginning: We should love one another.

1 John 4:7
[ God’s Love and Ours ] Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.

1 Peter 1:22
Now that you have purified yourselves by obeying the truth so that you have sincere love for each other, love one another deeply, from the heart.

1 Thessalonians 4:9
Now about your love for one another we do not need to write to you, for you yourselves have been taught by God to love each other.

2 John 1:5
And now, dear lady, I am not writing you a new command but one we have had from the beginning. I ask that we love one another.

Romans 13:8
[ Love Fulfills the Law ] Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for whoever loves others has fulfilled the law.

John 13:35
By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

Ephesians 4:2
Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.

1 Peter 5:14
Greet one another with a kiss of love. Peace to all of you who are in Christ.

1 John 4:11
Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.

Hebrews 10:24
And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds,

2 Corinthians 13:11
[ Final Greetings ] Finally, brothers and sisters, rejoice! Strive for full restoration, encourage one another, be of one mind, live in peace. And the God of love and peace will be with you.

1 Peter 3:8
[ Suffering for Doing Good ] Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic,love one another, be compassionate and humble.

1 John 3:23
And this is his command: to believe in the name of his Son, Jesus Christ, and to love one another as he commanded us.

Galatians 5:13
[ Life by the Spirit ] You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh ; rather, serve one another humbly in love.

2 Thessalonians 1:3
[ Thanksgiving and Prayer ] We ought always to thank God for you, brothers and sisters, and rightly so, because your faith is growing more and more, and the love all of you have for one another is increasing.

Lessons Learned from Les Miserables

I am miserable!  I'm miserable because I am being challenged. Often a challenge is a good thing.  It gets the blood flowing, the brain stimulated, but I suppose it depends on the struggle.  Currently, I feel like my capacity for grace is being challenged, and I don't like it.  If you have kept up with my posts, I'm kind of exhausted.  I think my grace needle is on empty.  I have prayed about this, but I am floundering with my hearing as well. I know God is there, I just cannot quite tune into His frequency lately.  So, I find myself drawing from literature.

I never liked reading as a teen, until tenth grade English Lit class, after reading the classic fiction, Victor Hugo's, Les Miserables.  I didn't read this book because I decided I wanted to enjoy this now favorite pastime.  I read it, voraciously I might add, because many upper class-men told me the book was terrible.  Ah! A challenge of the other variety!   An opportunity to defy authority figures, in the ill-gotten gains of high school status wars.  Prove them wrong. After all, every authority figure in my life let me down so far, or so I perceived.  I was all about defiance, non-conformity and boldness.  In a week, however, I was a pile of mush curled up under my covers, with a flashlight, crying over the final separation of Jean Valjean, the former prisoner, and the policeman who hunted him over seventeen years.  In an act of unfathomable grace, Valjean saves him, when he could have left him for dead.

So much like our Father who sent his son, Jesus, to save us not despite our sin, but because of it!  Imagine!  We cannot.

Someone, a friend, tests me, beyond reason.  I am exhausted.  I do not believe I have the grace to give or give up any more than I have. Yet, I am drawn back to this book, to another scene.  In the beginning, Jean Valjean is first freed from prison.  He spends the night with a Bishop and takes advantage of his gracious hospitality, stealing the fine silver, then jetting out at dawn.  Caught, looking again at prison time, Valjean experiences his first encounter of grace, as the Bishop, aware of the betrayal, appears and offers the silver candlesticks as well.  All were a gift; there is no crime. Valjean receives his second chance.

We worship a God of second chances, and we are called to give them as freely as He does, as the Bishop did, as Valjean learned to do, so those who take advantage of our kindnesses and mercy, our grace, may someday become dispensers of it.

In Jesus' Sermon on the Mount, we are given clear instruction for what to do when others test us, in big ways and in little.  Be it our patience or our pocketbooks, we are called to be gracious.

'If someone strikes you, stand there and take it.  If someone drags you into court and sues for the shirt off your back, gift wrap your best coat and make a present of it.  And if someone takes unfair advantage of you, use the occasion to practice the servant life.  No more tit-for-tat stuff. Live generously.' 

"...When someone gives you a hard time, respond with the energies of prayer, for then you are working out of your true selves, your God-created selves. This is what God does.  He gives his best -- the sun to warm and the rain to nourish -- to everyone, regardless: the good  and bad, the nice and nasty.  If all you do is love the lovable, do you expect a bonus? Anybody can do that.  If you simply say hello to those who greet you, do you expect a medal? Any run-of-the-mill sinner does that." 

"...Live generously and graciously toward others, the way God lives toward you."Matthew 5:39-48, the Msg

As the Wisteria drapes the spring trees of Atlanta in royal garment, so shall I cling to my vine, our Heavenly Father, and learn the lessons of Les Miserables and Christ Jesus, lessons of grace -- the only way to relieve the misery of being taken for granted, having your patience tested, or as our Bosnian friends have known too well, experiencing persecution.

Thank you for your continued prayers for the people of the ECC of Capljina, Bosnia who are powerful examples of dispensers of grace in a diversified culture. They reach the Jean Valjeans of their communities and introduce them to our God of second chances. Please pray for their strength and commitment to their cause and the ongoing health and support of their congregation.

In the grip of His grace,
Kathy

WHEN GOD ANSWERS YOUR UNSURE PRAYERS

It has been a long gap between entries.  There is a reason for it.  I find myself from the splendorous view of the mountaintop to the desolate experience of a desert walk, not my first, where, seemingly God is silent.  A two year high followed by silence, separation and solitude - an emptiness I created.  I prayed for brokenness, not knowing the extent of the fallout which would ensue by my own power, my own strength.  Last summer, my blog entry included a review of a book I was given to read, "A Tale of Three Kings." For me, my journey from mountaintop to desert began with this book. I identified a life long problem with authority like so many kings from our Biblical heritage.  Convinced I, more David than Saul at times, soon discovered the opposite to be true. This child, forced to be parent to her earthly father's inner child, seemed to have authority tousled and turned into a paradigm which only made sense in her, indeed, in my world.  The world I organized, mastered, perfected and seemed to manage with a leader's admirable capability.  But, perfection is over-rated and mastering is fine unless the price is an undue cost to others. Organization is a gift, a spiritual gift in fact, but imposed upon another can deplete the free spirit making its home there. And leadership, also a spiritual gift, is a quality to be valued and carefully honed, although graciously entrusted to those chosen by God in situations where He has chosen leaders for you.

Broken, indeed.  My husband of 22 years and I are divorcing. I find my issues with authority allowed me to miss the most basic principle we are asked, as women.

"Wives, understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ. The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing. So just as the church submits to Christ as he exercises such leadership, wives should likewise submit to their husbands."  Ephesians 5:22-23

I didn't always do that. In fact, mostly, I took the lead.  I was a survivor at a young age, so that is all I knew how to do.  Don't misunderstand. Divorce was our decision, not God's.  But, we also know he will bring good from all things (Romans 8:28) and trust Him as we begin a new journey learning from our own mistakes and missteps.  God wastes nothing. He alone will use everything for His glory, even the unraveling of one of His most precious gifts -- the cleaving of man and woman as one.

Who has not secretly thought at some point in their Christian walk, "be careful what you pray for!"  You know them well, don't you?  Those prayers you are unsure about.  For example, maybe, you want a child so badly, but you pray, "God if it is your will for me to be childless, help me to accept it." Deep inside you agonize whether you really have this much strength and trust as you surrender with everything that you are, tears streaming down your face and, in the next breath, you want to yank it all back! "God, no!  Please, I want this child. "

I recall this feeling as I prayed for brokenness. Did I really, really want to learn how to respect authority better, if it meant breaking me, again?  I have found it unbearable for months to be in this position, yet I have faith in a mighty God that not only is He talking to me, I will be forgiven and redeemed.  I already have.  Someday, when I am squarely focused on Him again, I will hear His sweet voice speaking to my heart and know He has been carrying me through this difficult time, maybe even proud of me for my willingness to surrender complete authority to the only One deserving of it. 

In the meantime, please pray for my broken family.  Sometimes, most times, our actions have ripple effects that cannot be mended by any other than our Mighty God whose sovereignty over all and whose healing power and unconditional love surpasses all understanding.

And, as you add us to your prayer lists, please do not forget the people of the ECC in Capljina. Many of the young people are greeting the next year with Spring plans for weddings of their own.  May they learn from those who have walked this road before them, while setting their unions firmly, securely in God's plan for marriage. Pastor Bernard is finishing up his Bachelors degree with hopes of raising enough money to complete Masters study and continues to look for more partnerships for the church. 

A prayer for our families, here and abroad.

"For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever!  Amen." 
Ephesians 3:14-21

Humbly and with great gratitude,
Kathy