FITTING IN

The last three days have been a bit "puzzling." I wonder about a world, a broken world, with so many problems, so much pain, suffering, war and hatred. We travel miles, across the seas, because we feel called to a country torn by all these things, not the least of which is unforgiveness, and I rack my brain for reasons why we can't find a place on this big blue ball where we'll all fit in. Like a big jigsaw puzzle, we seem to be looking for the perfect piece with the right ins and outs save for one corner that slants sharply instead of gracefully curving. We try to force it, but it simply doesn't fit.

Wednesday night, we held our outreach for the disabled children of Capljina. We brought developmental toys, puzzles among them. I engaged a young girl, tentative to participate during round one, but decided to trust me during round two. Our fun lasted only a few minutes, as I taught her how to find the corners. When I relinquished the tasks to her, she began to cry in frustration. She couldn't find the missing piece which fit. Perhaps the puzzle mirrored her own feelings of the plight of the disabled children of Capljina - no school of their own, needing to be shuttled to Mostar for their education, in search of a place to fit in. As she walked away from the table, my heart broke. If only she knew how her actions captured such a profound reality about the human condition. How we all feel our inadequacies and place far too much of our identity in whether or not we accomplish tasks others call upon us to perform, instead of loving God and loving others as Christ has called us to do. She fits in more than she knows, as much as anyone.


Yesterday, we took a trip to the city of Dubrovnik, Croatia. What an incredible blessing to walk the walls of the fortressed city gazing out upon the Adriatic Sea to one side and hundreds of barrel tiled roof tops of various hues - yellow, oranges and reds - to the other side. The old city seemed to fit together as it's own puzzle, harmoniously from above. Yet, take the stairs down below and you can easily become lost in the chaos of only slightly differing tonal qualities. Like the most complicated jigsaw, you believe you have picked up the exact shade, and are headed in the right direction, but again, you are lost, not knowing where you fit in without the vantage point only seen from above.

Tonight, we gather at church with non-believing women from the community for a jewelry outreach. We will spend some of the day organizing baubles and beads and practicing making clasps for necklaces. Very few of us really know how to do this ourselves, so we are praying for some Divine Intervention! My clasps may not fit properly. I might get frustrated like my puzzle partner Wednesday night. I wish she could be here to see me - imperfect, not fitting in, flawed. There is one thing about a mission trip. It humbles you and teaches you, we are all the same, all over the world. None of us fit in perfectly.

My puzzle partner ran up to me at the end of our evening at the center and threw her arms around me saying, enthusiastically, "I like you!" in Croatian. My heart skipped a beat! She got the point after all. Life is not about fitting in perfectly. It is about spending time with each other, bearing one another's burdens and liking each other. Somehow, at the end of the day, it smooths out the sharp edges and smooths out the corners, until we all fit in well enough.

"Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble." 1 Peter 3:8

Still in One Peace,
Kathy